Advice, advice, advice

Isn’t it amazing how many people there are around who want to give you advice? And the advice is usually to do what they do, or do things the way they do them. I’ve been thinking about this lately because it seems like I keep running into people who think they know just what is best for me. Now there aren’t that many people out there who obviously have it all together, whose lives or jobs or ministries or families have the mark of perfection on them. So why do they think they have the answer for me? Maybe it’s a psychological thing. I seem to remember from one of my college psychology courses that we tend to transfer our own experiences to others. Whatever the motivation, it can sure get tiresome.

I’m not suggesting we isolate ourselves and refuse to seek good advice. There are times when I specifically ask for help, and I expect the advice I get to be based on that person’s experience and the wisdom gained from it. But even that can become tedious. I like Larry Burkett’s thinking on this: “A wise man seeks much counsel…a fool listens to all of it.” But what about all the advice we get that is totally unsolicited?

Here are some examples from my own life. Penny and I raised our kids in a pretty high-pressure environment. I was a pastor for most of that time, and in the early part of our ministry, we found it necessary for Penny to work just to make ends meet. The kids felt like they were in a fishbowl, and the pressure took its toll. You can’t believe how many times we were given unsolicited advice on how to deal with the situation. And often by people whose own families were anything but healthy. Throughout my 25 years in the pastorate, someone was always offering me the perfect solution to every problem I faced. And it continues. A couple days ago, I went online and watched several speakers at Liberty Seminary deliver messages to a pastor’s conference held there. Two of the three guys explained in no uncertain terms that a pastor should never retire from church ministry. Interestingly, one of these guys isn’t presently pastoring a church and the other, Chuck Swindoll, took four years off to work in another ministry area outside the organized church. So where do they come off telling me what God wants in my life?

Have you found yourself needing to tune out the advice-givers? I’d love to hear about some of your frustrating encounters.

Oh, well. Such is life. To rephrase a proverb from Ecclesiastes: “Be warned: the giving of advice is endless, and excessive attention to it is wearying to the soul.”